Ugh-I just missed my first blog deadline! I thought about it a few times yesterday but it wasn’t until someone mentioned it that I realized I didn’t do it. Call me human. And now I am on it!
Before I get into my main thoughts, I just want to say thanks to all those that read and enjoy my blog. It means so much to me. Call me grateful. Now for the main topic!
Last night I ran into a fellow yoga student at a local event, and had the pleasure of meeting her husband. As we were making pleasantries she said, “You have kids, right?” and I said no, and conversation continued. But it got me thinking about my decision to not have children. Yes, it was my decision, and ultimately my and my husband’s decision to not have children. And apparently that puts me in the minority–I read that only 6% of married women ages 40-44 do not have kids in the household (2006-2010). That seems really low. But it is actually up from 4.5% in 1988. So why did I make the decision not to have kids?
First, and I think the main reason, is that I never felt a burning desire to be a mom. It is really that simple for me.
Second, I didn’t think I would meet anyone that I would want to procreate with. I didn’t date much in high school and college, and after I graduated, I was more focused on spending time with friends. I thought if I wanted a chid at some point I would go to my local sperm bank or adopt. But I still wasn’t feeling a desire to be a mom.
Third, my friends were not having children OR getting married. Hell, most of my friends still aren’t married. Not that they have to be to have kids. But they also don’t seem to have the desire to bring kids into the world either. I didn’t feel pressured or inclined to have children and I had the benefit of friends with no attachments.
Fourth, my husband was ambivalent about it. When I got married at the age of 32, I figured if we wanted to start trying, it should be then. We discussed it, he really wasn’t for or against it, and coupled with my non-mom feelings, we decided to forego it. We have talked about our decision a few times, and neither of us regret it. We have a wonderful, fulfilling life and a very spoiled dog.
Our dog is our child, and I know many others out there who feel the same way about their pet. When I buy his treats they always ask how many dogs I have and when I say one they look surprised. And I joke with my husband that it is probably good we don’t have kids because I can’t imagine him getting up in the middle of the night with a screaming child when he complains about letting the dog out two times in a row.
So go ahead and share the pictures and tell the stories of YOUR kids. I enjoy seeing and hearing them, but it doesn’t make me waiver on my decision. And when some kid is screaming in the middle of Target, I KNOW I made the right decision for me.
I guess it is time for me to sign off – it is my turn to let the dog out. Have a great weekend!