In Friday’s blog I wrote about how overwhelmed I was with the political issues our country is facing, and the fact that I was feeling that I wasn’t doing enough. I realized over the weekend that my resilience was in need of some work.
What is resilience?
Resilience is what gives people the psychological strength to cope with stress and hardship. It is the mental reservoir of strength that people are able to call on in times of need to carry them through without falling apart…
Instead of falling into despair or hiding from problems with unhealthy coping strategies, resilient people face life’s difficulties head on. This does not mean that they experience less distress, grief, or anxiety than other people do. It means that they handle such difficulties in ways that foster strength and growth.
In many cases, they may emerge even stronger than they were before. 1
Sounds pretty good, right? Face adversity and come out stronger? It may seem right now that the adversity is never ending, that our country is headed for a cliff (or at least backwards about 50 years). Our nation has been through crises before and the people have persevered. They also learned from the mistakes and worked to make the nation a better place. We all contribute in our own way, and we need to understand that even the smallest gestures have impact.
Some of us will make signs and t-shirts and be first in line at the march. Others will call or write their representatives. And some will be there to comfort those that are suffering. It all matters. Whatever role feels right for you is the one that matters. While I have every intention of writing my representatives, in the mean time I will write uplifting blogs, and promote respect and civility. I will provide tools to cope with the stress of whatever you are going through-politics, family issues, work problems, etc. I want to support and strengthen those that are in need. When we are strong as individuals we can unite to be stronger as a group.
My contribution for today is to share the traits of resilient people. Reading the list reminded me of some things that I needed to improve upon – mainly gratitude and practicing patience. How do you feel when you read them? Do they resonate with you or seem foreign? Are you interested in learning how to become more resilient? If so, check out my blog this Friday!
1. Resilient people talk to share thoughts, not to convince. Certainly there is a place and time to pitch an idea, but during conversations resilient people don’t play defense or offense. Instead, they openly communicate their ideas and concepts. They listen to glean wisdom.
2. Resilient people ask for guidance. They are aware of their blind spots and where their knowledge base is weak. Resilient people are not shy about asking for feedback or help when needed.
3. Resilient people clearly see things. They have proper vision. While they can see obstacles in their path, they don’t stay focused on them. Instead, they quickly lift their eyes above the barriers so they can see far ahead. This allows them to scan the big picture and gain perspective.
4. Resilient people live in the present. They know the past is frozen and don’t ruminate it yesterday’s events. While they are more than willing to learn from yesterday, they don’t dwell in it.
5. Resilient people work very hard. They don’t expect anything to be given to them, and they put long hours rather it is at home or in the office. Chances are many don’t realize just how much effort they put into their projects and goals.
6. Resilient people practice gratitude. They are well aware that they are not alone in the universe, and others contribute to their happiness and wellbeing. They are appreciative of others and express it.
7. Resilient people are able able to cope with major setbacks in a healthy way. Whether it be a death, divorce, financial or business loss they don’t let the heartbreak become a part of them. In other words, they know that this is just a part of their narrative, and they are already working to make themselves stronger because of it. They know their story doesn’t end with a setback.
8. Resilient people are able to handle pain. They are able to stay present with the pain and understand that there is a greater lesson to be understood. Instead of trying to avoid a painful moment with denial they can withstand it. They don’t attempt to numb the pain. They aren’t insensitive, but they don’t allow the hurt to become a part of them either.
9. Resilient people know how to handle rejection. They don’t take it personally and don’t feel like damaged goods. They are willing to try again and put forth an even greater effort to earn success.
10. Resilient people practice patience. They understand that many circumstances require them to delay gratification and control their impulses. Sure, they get frustrated, but they won’t send an angry email or get discouraged at rejection. Resilient people know they need to be patient with their goals and with others. 2